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S​/​T

by Fail Better

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1.
can you endure the world we live in, and maintain a sense of freedom while they're still building prisons? We all try to do what we can, while living on stolen land they're building up the borders as we try to tear them down and we're waiting for something that never comes like a word on the tip of your tongue a neverending negotiation between frustration and anticipation but there's a lot that we've created, like the trust i have for you i know you feel it too, though we're both too shy to say it help me remember, help me remember how it felt to believe that we could change it all is it getting better? well, i'm getting better at finding my place in it all i can't promise that we're winning but as long as we don't give in then i don't see how we could ever lose and when i think i'm losing hope it makes me feel better to know this is only a beginning and i'm constantly surprised by just how hard people fight if you don't think we've come that far, then take a look back to the start i can't promise that we're winning but as long as we don't give in then i don't see how we could ever lose and when i think i'm losing hope it makes me feel better to know this is only a beginning it's you i'm following, but you don't know where we're going guess we'll just have to decide when we get there
2.
There's never enough, and you're starting to think it's more than just bad luck another road trip, a search for meaning, a lack of faith but still believing and you're tired of being told you need too much to feel safe you build up walls, build them so high that next to them you can't help but feel small we drift apart, and you're aching for a change if you need to go, well that's okay but for now, i dare you to stay it's always too much and under it all you're feeling crushed and broken a few bad habits and years of baggage even with good friends, it's a lot to manage and i know this time of year you always miss the ocean to feel safe you build up walls, build them so high that next to them you can't help but feel small repeat the cycles, cos what else can you do? If you have to go, well that's okay, but i'll still miss you it's always too much it's never enough
3.
Sirens hail the dawn of summer and the riot cops are out in record numbers. Flashing lights obliterate the night, and riot squads push the nightmares out of sight, and the tourists sleepwalk tight. Flash bangs set a tone for the evening, and I can't tell raw emotion from that pepperspray sting. And I can't help but feel so alive, running for my life. Wish on a helicopter that it will fall. Wish for anything at all, and shout at the top of your lungs. Fight for everything for all.
4.
Spread Thin 01:33
waking in circles, waiting for the next train as the focus sharpens, everything else fades away and in time, nothing else will be left in my life it takes time, the patterns set and i watch it unwind the premise already slipped, and i watch the distance grow looking through the glass, between where i live and my home am i splitting myself in two, not much is coming on this side if i have a home, it's connected with roads while i'm running to, i'm running away always feeling like i can't stay walking in circles, waiting for the next train
5.
There was a time not long ago when I believed you when you said there was a new world in your heart - I wonder what was in your head. Because this space that seemed so safe: a minefield with a welcome sign, where there's just one safe stand to take and its your place in line. Where the nail that sticks up, well she gets hammered just to cope with another set of power games that are killing all her hope. Singing, "So! So! So!" So what the fuck is this? Self-indulgent hipster kiddies playing anarchist. Like a backhanded compliment, like a mutual admission of contempt. I'm not sad that we won't be missed. Purges are just part of politics, but there's part of me that wants to know, was it always just a show? Was there a time we shared convictions, hopes, and even dreams, or was it always just another shitty scene?
6.
The oppression in our scenes, like our patches wearing thin you can see it through the holes in our jeans, it's written on our skin cos whiteness is more than a particular hue it's a social construction in a colonial context and we are not immune so let's just admit this punkscene is implicitly white supremacist this isn't a safe space, if such a thing could even exist in a room with those who benefit from genocide, forced work, and displacement and this isn't guilt it's a willingness to see my roles in how these hierarchies are built cos if you think the real enemy is so different than you or me then you run the risk of becoming accomplice to racist bigotry so let's be explicit this punk scene is implicitly white supremacist this isn't a safe space, if such a thing could even exist in a room with those who benefit from genocide, forced work and displacement and you know what's implied when you get to decide? cos not everyone has the privilege to get to choose their side the way that we live and how we resist is all tied up in this question of intersecting oppressions yeah you know it's true, it's a lot to live up to but what else can you do, but keep on pushing through it all, it's a long haul but the struggle carries on and so do you
7.
What would you do for a paycheck? And tell me now, do you feel proud? I know the questions are leading, but there's no point in deceiving ourselves: there's nothing that we wouldn't sell. Give up the best of our days; go without anything to save, as if we could buy them back. Pushed through my life by invisible hands, because the only choice I see is an iron fist. Too scared to take it on the chin, don't dare to struggle dare to win; won't risk my skin to save my soul. Causes and symptoms blur like the weeks, my pessimism carries me through. My miseries come to define me, feels like there's nothing I can do.

credits

released February 3, 2014

Recorded and mixed by Shayla on occupied Kanien'kehá:ka territory (aka montreal) in fall 2013.

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Fail Better Montreal, Québec

anti-imperialist blink 182
anarchist pop punk

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